weight of things x what if's

growth.growing.moving forward.advancing.decisions decisions.crossroads.choices.intersections.progress.success.downfalls.hitting walls...life is full of these things mentioned...we are either forced into it due to circumstances or to consciously choose to propel ourselves into moments of great success or failures...we will never know the outcome..whether it will work for our benefit or be our biggest breakdown...the unknown scares a lot of us..its normal to be afraid of it because we feel less safe in the dark, not knowing what lurks around the corner frightens even the strongest...but i guess that's life, we go through it half of the time blind, never knowing anything and that's the beauty of it i guess...a lot of us risk less because we don't know but then again we will never know unless we try, right?!?

the same is true with us, our walk as believers...it says the `just' shall live by faith..and faith, simply defined is believing in something that we don't have YET or even something we cannot see YET...hmm sounds like false hope to me...how i ask? just reading that sort of makes feel a bit vulnerable, weak or even naked...we are all about about making opportunities, go-getter...we make something for ourselves..we want money, we work..we want success, we work..we work for things that can quickly disappear...no i'm bashing on the fact that hard work isn't bad...work is necessary because faith without work is dead...but at the same our success or failure does not define who we are but we are defined by the one who made us to be...so what if all the work we put in gives us zero return? what if everything that we have built starts to crumble? what if it doesn't work out in the end, then what? God asks us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness(Matthew 6:33-34) because only He knows what could bring true satisfaction...so yes its okay to pursue our goals and dreams but we shouldn't be anchored only on those things for they can quickly shift or change just as the seasons...there is no doubt that God wants the best for us but sometimes what we think is the best for us is usually completely opposite of what He wants to do for us...a friend told me once that instead of putting God first, put Him in the center of everything, whether it be career, family, school etc. so that in everything He will direct the course of our actions...the stress of deciding what to do in a situation such as school or career or marriage can be a person's making or breaking point...choosing the `right one' or `the best' is crucial but this can also include hours of over analyzing and can cause a sane person to lose his/her head over it...that is why majority of the population reverts back to being complacent and indecisive individuals fearing that they are incapable of ever making the right decision, i know because i am one the majority...seems like all my life has been cycles long sleepless nights where my brain is racing, over analyzing situations and that dreaded `choice' starts to make me cringe to my bones...fear can paralyze us..it limits our ability to be great...i saw this commercial saying `the only limits preventing us are the ones we set on ourselves' which in application is very true because half of the time we are all too worried about the situation rather than focusing on the one who gave us the dream.

i want to live life filled with adventure whether good or bad...regardless of the outcome of any decision that i make...i guess the important thing is that for myself to be just open to the fact that anything can happen...so instead of me thinking and over analyzing situations, i should just learn to sort my priorities and go through it with all that i am...learn to take risks, to live life worth living instead being motionless and indecisive...i need help, we all need help...we need people that will encourage and direct us and at the same support us no matter what...God wants us us to have a life that is FULL, not lacking, not boring, not so and so, not mediocre but life to the FULLEST..learn to surround yourself with people who will encourage and help you get there and be ready to learn...learn to grow up and accept things..i know i have a lot to learn and that i want to be a person who's willing risk it all without reservation, i want to be the person who's less on words but more in action...simplify my choice and just move, do something and grow.

that is all.