Wednesday, October 8, 2008

LAST NIGHT I REALIZED SOMETHING..

maybe this whole thing that I've been trying to have this particular person is not what i need...there was a point last night on conversation when i realized that maybe I'm just `the guy on the other line'..waiting, wishing i could have a straight conversation w/o distractions or the other `friends'..but then who am i ask for such privilege...we're just friends, nothing more..oh how i wish we are more but this logic sense in me kicks in..telling me to take it easy..it will come and be perfected in time, regardless of the outcome...whether she chooses you or not...OOH MAN, IT WAS JUST TOO AWKWARD..THERE WAS MOMENT WHEN I TRIED TO ASK HER ON A `DATE'..WELL I TRIED BUT IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT THAT UNFORTUNATELY KINDA BACKFIRED....I'm telling to not get soo distracted...not to let this situation take up my time that should be spent doing more productive things..ie ministry planning, devotion, praying etc...hmmm hopefully i find the sense to just not make thing difficult for myself....my feelings for this person are real no doubt about it...and i guess i just need to try to find myself in a place where i'm well enough to receive love and give love away...so i guess what i'm saying is that regardless of these feelings i'm having, i should be responsible enough to be the `right' guy...not someone who can insecure at times or lack confidence in who i am deep inside...

ON ANOTHER NOTE..
i feel unhappy with my commitment to the `kids' at church..i feel like i should be doing more...and i guess i'm just apathetic at time to actually do work..but i feel the need to do more..to pray more and to actually make sure that there is growth or at least i'm faithful to what God has given me...

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