JOY!!!

JOY IS NOT SUPPLEMENTAL BUT RATHER ESSENTIAL, CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES WILL NOT BRING JOY BUT RATHER JOY CHANGES OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.ERWIN MCMANUS

PS.

Carter Heyward (Passion for Justice)
Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward." Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.

Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm, fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.

For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love." Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh.

Why Love.

Why do people choose to love in spite of the risk of having your heart broken? I read this quote before that "the greatest tragedy in life is not death but to have lived a life without love" so why choose love..why risk reality for the unknown...why are others find success in relationships while other struggle to find one? questions after questions...so whats the point of it all...is it all worth it?

I'm not here to try to disprove both sides, people have their opinion, i have one too..i believe in love..and the risks it entails..i believe regardless of the background and culture, humans long to love and to be loved...we are created to love...and even if our hearts have gone through the most painful and heartbreaking situations in a relationship, we still try..we soldier on...broken and bleeding, we still fight and risk everything for a chance to be love or feel love again...

hmmm in a perfect world maybe this is true but others who have gone the same situations can't help but feel otherwise...they say that every heartbreak that a person goes through means a little piece of them dies along with it...it causes us to trust less...insecure and maybe a little paranoid...it shapes us to a point where we hurt one another without even knowing a reason why, we become our own worst enemy..fuel to our own destruction...that is why theres is nothing like the first love...this was us at a point where we are at our best...we believed more, worked more and basically loved more...we were risk takers, unafraid of express what we felt or feeling..we were dreamers, hoped for the bests, romantically insane and thought that fairy tales are not just stories on a page but can actually transpire in our lives...then comes that dreadful day..the talk, or phone call or that message that you wished you never read..everything from that day on changes...our mindset, perspective on people in general...we question almost anything anyone does for us...we become guarded or even resistive of the idea of being in a relationship again..we risk less..we analyze more...

soo why go through it again? why care again? why risk again? ohhhh the whys can keep going!...but why???AGAIN!!...because there is no better feeling in the world than being loved by someone and giving the same to another...there just isn't...we can fill our lives with 'stuff', build our castles as high as our eyes can see...we can have the 'dream job' or luxury life but there is no better satisfaction or high compared to having someone in your life who loves you genuinely and truly...its the kinda thing that no money in this world can buy...and i think no matter how hard we try to suppress or try to over-analyze it there is really no escaping it..like i said we are created to love, we didn't come out of our mothers womb hating!lol...we were innocent, somewhat oblivious to our environment, clean slates that is ultimately shaped by the environments we are born in...situations, good or bad makes us who are today...

yes its an uphill climb for a lot of us..and most us just ends up giving up on this thing called love but life is an adventure full of surprises..more good than bad i guess but don't you want to live a life having done the best you can possibly do with it, whether it be in relationships or your life in general...no regrets or what if's....we are student in this-so-called-life...and a lot of us don't give ourselves enough credit of doing anything good in life...soo let's be ready to learn and take notes, yes there will 'blood' and `gut's spilled' but that's life in general..its cruel and unfair..we lose more than we win but time is against us and we don't have the luxury of it...soo why love?? i guess it all boils down to this quote i found:

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough. Ann Landers

LOL!!

THE GAME.

In my pursuit to better understand this whole concept of "game", I've been asking a lot questions..questions such as knowing how to initiate, becoming better at it or even determining if a person is playing the "game"...in the midst of all these rush of knowledge and observation, i can't help but feel indifferent to the "game"...like my friend was saying, there is always games that people play, regardless whether they know it or not..yes that is very much true on other people but i really think I'm a little too old to be playing games, especially when it involves people's feelings getting hurt or heart's broken...but the more i come to understand this whole concept of the "game" the more i come to realize that its a very self-centered and self-serving thing to do..everything it evokes is fully based on the fact that our pride is on the line...so we play games, we don't call so that maybe they'll miss us enough for them to call back...we try to be really close to certain people ie. ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, so that maybe they'll want us back or miss us more...we pretend that we are bored in our conversations or that we ignore their messages but in the back of our minds, we want her/him just as much as they want us...I think I've come to a conclusion why people play these games...its because we just don't want to get hurt in the end..plain and simple...so we become guarded, an impenetrable fortress and that will not let anyone in unless we are 100% sure that he/she will stick around...i don't see the "game" as a form of weakness but more of a human nature...we are afraid to get hurt..have our hearts handed to us in a million different pieces...or as my friend would say "be another trophy"...its human nature to be afraid...i know because i was once this..still am i think but I'm learning...but as the good book says, there is no fear in Love but perfect love casts out fear...so lets not be afraid to show someone we care about them..not just in words but in dedication to spend time and the choices we make in that time spent...one of the things I've been learning these past few months discovering and building the relationship is that, do not be the reason why a relationship can't work..be a better person, make better choices..organize your thoughts and most importantly see that person the way God sees him/her...treasure the relationship whether or not it plays on your favor...it takes a lot maturity and love and hardcore honesty but in the end no matter what the outcome is, the fact is that God's love for you is perfect, regardless of our shortcomings or faults and the more I come to understand this sort of love, the more i can become the person who is not afraid to love someone...i become more like Him...its an adventure folks, enjoy every minute of it.

HAMBURGER DRESS!!!

looks soo goood its almost edible!!lol picture this on a fat dude!?!?

Gentleman Don't..

I'm trying to be a grown-up just trying to deal with this issue right now..its just a bit of a stretch and so confusing sometimes...what i don't get is that how women are so darn confusing or maybe they're playing a game without them knowing it...its boggling my mind..hmm maybe I'm just trying to save my sanity here trying to figure things out and maybe become the better man regardless how this situation turns up but i didn't realize how hard it is letting you go...maybe if you were such a "meanie" maybe it'll be easier but your just so "nice"...and the random morning texts is not helping.."i need to find another you" because its obvious that regardless how much i tried to be the better man, these other dudes still has the advantage on me regardless of how much crap that you put up with these "boys"...hmm you tell me that you're the kinda of person who is straightforward and honest and that i wouldn't be able to handle you but I'm thinking otherwise...i don't know if the talks were just made up to make me believe something that isn't there but it seems like regardless of how these dudes treat you, you still put up with it..i don't get it...i guess women just has a hard time knowing who they want..its hard on us guys because our brain goes a million miles a minute trying to break down scenarios and basically trying to do what is best for you..we'll that's me anyways..because in my opinion, women deserve only the best..haha sappy!!...well all i want is for you to be happy..truly and honestly..because its obvious that i care for you too much that sometimes i just don't know what to do but pray for you...maybe the timing is just wrong or maybe it was never meant to be but lets try to be mature in this..I'm not going to force it and i will remain optimistic for the future.

PS.
current readings: Boundaries in Dating..hahah i know i need help, big time! hopefully it helps.