JOY!!!

JOY IS NOT SUPPLEMENTAL BUT RATHER ESSENTIAL, CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES WILL NOT BRING JOY BUT RATHER JOY CHANGES OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.ERWIN MCMANUS

PS.

Carter Heyward (Passion for Justice)
Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward." Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.

Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm, fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.

For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love." Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh.

Why Love.

Why do people choose to love in spite of the risk of having your heart broken? I read this quote before that "the greatest tragedy in life is not death but to have lived a life without love" so why choose love..why risk reality for the unknown...why are others find success in relationships while other struggle to find one? questions after questions...so whats the point of it all...is it all worth it?

I'm not here to try to disprove both sides, people have their opinion, i have one too..i believe in love..and the risks it entails..i believe regardless of the background and culture, humans long to love and to be loved...we are created to love...and even if our hearts have gone through the most painful and heartbreaking situations in a relationship, we still try..we soldier on...broken and bleeding, we still fight and risk everything for a chance to be love or feel love again...

hmmm in a perfect world maybe this is true but others who have gone the same situations can't help but feel otherwise...they say that every heartbreak that a person goes through means a little piece of them dies along with it...it causes us to trust less...insecure and maybe a little paranoid...it shapes us to a point where we hurt one another without even knowing a reason why, we become our own worst enemy..fuel to our own destruction...that is why theres is nothing like the first love...this was us at a point where we are at our best...we believed more, worked more and basically loved more...we were risk takers, unafraid of express what we felt or feeling..we were dreamers, hoped for the bests, romantically insane and thought that fairy tales are not just stories on a page but can actually transpire in our lives...then comes that dreadful day..the talk, or phone call or that message that you wished you never read..everything from that day on changes...our mindset, perspective on people in general...we question almost anything anyone does for us...we become guarded or even resistive of the idea of being in a relationship again..we risk less..we analyze more...

soo why go through it again? why care again? why risk again? ohhhh the whys can keep going!...but why???AGAIN!!...because there is no better feeling in the world than being loved by someone and giving the same to another...there just isn't...we can fill our lives with 'stuff', build our castles as high as our eyes can see...we can have the 'dream job' or luxury life but there is no better satisfaction or high compared to having someone in your life who loves you genuinely and truly...its the kinda thing that no money in this world can buy...and i think no matter how hard we try to suppress or try to over-analyze it there is really no escaping it..like i said we are created to love, we didn't come out of our mothers womb hating!lol...we were innocent, somewhat oblivious to our environment, clean slates that is ultimately shaped by the environments we are born in...situations, good or bad makes us who are today...

yes its an uphill climb for a lot of us..and most us just ends up giving up on this thing called love but life is an adventure full of surprises..more good than bad i guess but don't you want to live a life having done the best you can possibly do with it, whether it be in relationships or your life in general...no regrets or what if's....we are student in this-so-called-life...and a lot of us don't give ourselves enough credit of doing anything good in life...soo let's be ready to learn and take notes, yes there will 'blood' and `gut's spilled' but that's life in general..its cruel and unfair..we lose more than we win but time is against us and we don't have the luxury of it...soo why love?? i guess it all boils down to this quote i found:

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough. Ann Landers

LOL!!

THE GAME.

In my pursuit to better understand this whole concept of "game", I've been asking a lot questions..questions such as knowing how to initiate, becoming better at it or even determining if a person is playing the "game"...in the midst of all these rush of knowledge and observation, i can't help but feel indifferent to the "game"...like my friend was saying, there is always games that people play, regardless whether they know it or not..yes that is very much true on other people but i really think I'm a little too old to be playing games, especially when it involves people's feelings getting hurt or heart's broken...but the more i come to understand this whole concept of the "game" the more i come to realize that its a very self-centered and self-serving thing to do..everything it evokes is fully based on the fact that our pride is on the line...so we play games, we don't call so that maybe they'll miss us enough for them to call back...we try to be really close to certain people ie. ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, so that maybe they'll want us back or miss us more...we pretend that we are bored in our conversations or that we ignore their messages but in the back of our minds, we want her/him just as much as they want us...I think I've come to a conclusion why people play these games...its because we just don't want to get hurt in the end..plain and simple...so we become guarded, an impenetrable fortress and that will not let anyone in unless we are 100% sure that he/she will stick around...i don't see the "game" as a form of weakness but more of a human nature...we are afraid to get hurt..have our hearts handed to us in a million different pieces...or as my friend would say "be another trophy"...its human nature to be afraid...i know because i was once this..still am i think but I'm learning...but as the good book says, there is no fear in Love but perfect love casts out fear...so lets not be afraid to show someone we care about them..not just in words but in dedication to spend time and the choices we make in that time spent...one of the things I've been learning these past few months discovering and building the relationship is that, do not be the reason why a relationship can't work..be a better person, make better choices..organize your thoughts and most importantly see that person the way God sees him/her...treasure the relationship whether or not it plays on your favor...it takes a lot maturity and love and hardcore honesty but in the end no matter what the outcome is, the fact is that God's love for you is perfect, regardless of our shortcomings or faults and the more I come to understand this sort of love, the more i can become the person who is not afraid to love someone...i become more like Him...its an adventure folks, enjoy every minute of it.

HAMBURGER DRESS!!!

looks soo goood its almost edible!!lol picture this on a fat dude!?!?

Gentleman Don't..

I'm trying to be a grown-up just trying to deal with this issue right now..its just a bit of a stretch and so confusing sometimes...what i don't get is that how women are so darn confusing or maybe they're playing a game without them knowing it...its boggling my mind..hmm maybe I'm just trying to save my sanity here trying to figure things out and maybe become the better man regardless how this situation turns up but i didn't realize how hard it is letting you go...maybe if you were such a "meanie" maybe it'll be easier but your just so "nice"...and the random morning texts is not helping.."i need to find another you" because its obvious that regardless how much i tried to be the better man, these other dudes still has the advantage on me regardless of how much crap that you put up with these "boys"...hmm you tell me that you're the kinda of person who is straightforward and honest and that i wouldn't be able to handle you but I'm thinking otherwise...i don't know if the talks were just made up to make me believe something that isn't there but it seems like regardless of how these dudes treat you, you still put up with it..i don't get it...i guess women just has a hard time knowing who they want..its hard on us guys because our brain goes a million miles a minute trying to break down scenarios and basically trying to do what is best for you..we'll that's me anyways..because in my opinion, women deserve only the best..haha sappy!!...well all i want is for you to be happy..truly and honestly..because its obvious that i care for you too much that sometimes i just don't know what to do but pray for you...maybe the timing is just wrong or maybe it was never meant to be but lets try to be mature in this..I'm not going to force it and i will remain optimistic for the future.

PS.
current readings: Boundaries in Dating..hahah i know i need help, big time! hopefully it helps.

Is it possible...

Phillipians 4:6-7(The Message)
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Good Night.Morning.

she's my love, love love ,love..she's my love, love, love, love

to be continued..

bittersweet..thats how I'm feeling at this moment...its good that i was able to muster enough words to express how i truly feel about her but at the same time i can't help but expect the worst for my sake...i guess things just don't turn up the way you expected at times but that's okay because regardless of the fact that things happen the way they do, theres always hope of finding another, who..i have no clue..how..even more so clueless!lol...i know I'll eventually forget about this and move on but its just hard right now, I'm trying but i choose to not be bitter or be disappointed...hmmmm but she's different...it soo easy with this one, easy to talk to, straightforward which I'm totally the complete opposite...and regardless of what transpired, she has such a good heart, honest and all-around an amazing character..good to have around in life because it makes/made me somewhat of a better person...but boy, it would have been sweet but i guess all i can do now is move forward and see things in a different perspective..take what i learned and become better...hmm lessons learned friend...good morning world, expect the good everyone..maybe this world will a better place.

ps. why, gabe bondoc, WHY?!??!LOL

So True Sometimes..

I guess somethings are just not meant to be! HAHAHA

$14,000 Paintball Tank!!!lol

This is the Funtrak Mini Paintball Tank, a scaled down version of the classic war machine. I’m not sure if it should be considered cool or instead, the ultimate nerd machine.
TALK ABOUT GETTING OWNED IN PAINTBALL WAR!LOL I WANT THIS GUY ON MY TEAM

Scenarios in my head...

If only you were to read this...

"Hi..i know i should have been more honest of what i really feel about you but unfortunately i wasn't strong enough admit that i really do care for you..its scary i know on my part to care for someone who i barely know but i thought i'd give it a try and hope that it'll work out...sorry for putting you through this, its stupid of me i know but i hope this will not affect the relationship we have, even if we're only going to be friends...just to let you know that you are truly one of the best...your honesty and genuine caring attitude has affected in ways you could not imagined, it caused me to take risks that i thought i would never have the guts to do...regardless of my past experience, you have made me a believer again that there are still awesome, God-fearing ladies out there..the ones that deserve only the best..yeah i hope u get me...i dont want to be the one holding you back from the one you want to be with...and i dont want to be the reason for you to question the relationship you're trying to build with this guy, cus he seems like a nice dude who definitely cares for you and most of all i just want you to be happy...even if im not the one in the picture...you'll always have a place in my heart and i am always here for you if ever you need a friend.."

this is me..honestly plain ol' me

Boy oh boy...

hmmm timing, wow i guess i had my chance and once again i think i might have screwed it up again...when God, when?? when is it my turn? all these question rushing and boggling my mind once again...maybe this is it for me..glimpse is all i will ever get..smell but never really tasting...i dont know anymore..im just so darn messed up and sooo down at this moment that i cant help but to think about the words i could have said or the thing i should have done...i feel dumb right now and just plain low...hmm it would have been nice but i guess we were never on the same page...ahhhhhh man...i am soooo stooopid but i guess its time to grow up again...move forward without the awkwardness of it all..but i should never, ever, never ever give up on love...regardless of the past or the pain of it all..good or bad..happy or sad...God only knows...help me know because i'm a bit lost and i think i just need someone to light my way again so i can find the way to get there...just a little bit more i guess...just keep it positive i guess...know that everything is not as bad as it seems...there are worst things in this world other than letting go of someone you deeply care about...i guess theres always the next one..maybe this time i'll be man enough to say what i really feel, instead of being caught up what others will say or the situations we put ourselves in...listen to what your heart is telling you..heart is resilient and good..underneath the brokeness and pain..theres is hope and there is a God that take the broken and make it whole...yeah it hurts just a little but i guess ill be okay...no one really knows it better than You...so i guess just put this one at Your feet and hope for the better...yeah hope for the better.

Tycoon Commissions $6.5 Million Vacheron Constantin

A European mogul has commissioned luxury Swiss watchmaker Vacheron Constantin to create a one-of-a-kind $6.5 million timepiece which will automatically become one of the most expensive watches in the world. The horological feat incorporating several astronomical and astrological complications could take years to complete. The finished product will surpass Vacheron’s most expensive and complicated watch to date, the limited edition double-faced Tour de l’Ile (above) created for the company’s 250th anniversary in 2005. Only seven pieces were produced at $1.5 million each.

The complications are expected to include a perpetual calendar and leap year, star chart, celestial annual calendar, tourbillon regulator, sunrise and sunset indication, perpetual time equation, phases and age of the moon, substantial power reserve, multiple time zones and day-night indication, among others. The anonymous collector who commissioned the $6.5 million watch is following in the footsteps of New York banker Henry Graves, Jr., who commissioned Patek-Philippe to create the world’s most complicated pocket watch in 1932. Dubbed the Supercomplication, the yellow gold timepiece sold at Sotheby’s in 1999 for a record-breaking $11 million and remains something of a holy grail for watch collectors.

You

Oh the romance we have.
Kisses sweeter than drops of honey
Sleeping till our dreams run out
Looking into each others eye's so deeply
Letting go of all tomorrows worries

Oh how could perfection come in a moment
Lasting only second yet feeling like an eternity
Like warm summer breeze
Or the light breaking the clouds

Feeling like I'm falling
And floating all the same time
Never looking back because all I want is you
Now and for the rest of our lives

Crutch.

Lately I've been learning to treasure relationships..whether it be friends or family...I know I haven't been the best at this but i thought that by keeping myself busy enough, then maybe it'll work for my advantage..maybe by having `stuff' to do, i can have a more full life..by being busy enough that my days and nights won't be unproductive or even boring..but boy was i wrong...I've come to realize that its my crutch...i've used my hectic schedule as a medium for my inability to not be with people...i missed a lot..memorable times because i was off doing `work'...selfish i know and the more i think about it, the more i realized that i should have never used ministry or even God as an excuse to be with people especially when they need me the most...isn't that the whole point of Jesus ministry here on earth...He meets the needs of the people..He met them personally without self-righteousness or even hesitation...so i guess the point of this is all about growing and moving forward...first realization then comes change...I hope that i will have wisdom and most of all love to see the more important things in life..ie, people...

taking it one day at a time.

i fell like everything in my life right is now is in chaos...it could be better but it isn't...i am unhappy...always in a state of unrest..terrified of a lot responsibilities that is put on my shoulders...unsatisfied with my relationships with people...oohhh how i wish i could be here and say everything is fine, but i can't because it isn't...i need a new perspective...a goal..a reason to keep going...i need prayers..in desperate need of courage and strength...i need..i need..I NEED YOU...more than ever i need You...i was reminded that regardless of how life may turn out..or how present situations just seems to affect our state of being in a way that all we want to do is give up..there is Grace...peace that surpasses all understanding...that dawn will break through the night...anything can change in an instant, regardless of our best wishes or intentions...people will come and go...seasons will surely change...everything our hands have made will fade in time...but i was reminded that He will not...regardless of what i feel or what my attitudes towards certain issued in my life...He is the same from the beginning till the end...soo all i can do trust..with all my heart i need to trust...because when everything i've held onto starts to crumble..He will not.

ps. the choice to be better starts today.