Boy oh boy...

hmmm timing, wow i guess i had my chance and once again i think i might have screwed it up again...when God, when?? when is it my turn? all these question rushing and boggling my mind once again...maybe this is it for me..glimpse is all i will ever get..smell but never really tasting...i dont know anymore..im just so darn messed up and sooo down at this moment that i cant help but to think about the words i could have said or the thing i should have done...i feel dumb right now and just plain low...hmm it would have been nice but i guess we were never on the same page...ahhhhhh man...i am soooo stooopid but i guess its time to grow up again...move forward without the awkwardness of it all..but i should never, ever, never ever give up on love...regardless of the past or the pain of it all..good or bad..happy or sad...God only knows...help me know because i'm a bit lost and i think i just need someone to light my way again so i can find the way to get there...just a little bit more i guess...just keep it positive i guess...know that everything is not as bad as it seems...there are worst things in this world other than letting go of someone you deeply care about...i guess theres always the next one..maybe this time i'll be man enough to say what i really feel, instead of being caught up what others will say or the situations we put ourselves in...listen to what your heart is telling you..heart is resilient and good..underneath the brokeness and pain..theres is hope and there is a God that take the broken and make it whole...yeah it hurts just a little but i guess ill be okay...no one really knows it better than You...so i guess just put this one at Your feet and hope for the better...yeah hope for the better.